Rant of the day - H&M are shit.

Never, ever, ever, EVER order anything online from H&M unless you happen to have a week or two to sit in your house all day and wait for them.

I ordered something on Oct 31st. Said delivery would be Nov 5-11, despite the fact that it was dispatched the next day. It takes a week to dispatch something a few hundred miles? Right, whatever. So, I keep checking the tracking website for the delivery, and I get a text on Monday morning that my delivery will be made within 24-48 hours. They also choose this moment to inform me that the parcel needs to be signed for. I can't just take a couple of days off work, so I just have to hope that it arrives when someone is home, or that they call me (as per my delivery instructions) so I can work something out.

So later that day, according to the tracking website, they have an access problem. Not surprising, because my apartment building is very difficult to get into if you don't have the codes for the gates and a key. Also, the buzzers tend not to work. So I immediately called H&M (since there's no contact details for the courier) to ask them to get the courier to call me, so that I could explain how to get into the property and hopefully work out when they might be there to let them in. That usually works fine any other time I'm having something like this delivered. They make the note, that's fine.

Two days and nothing happens. Then the tracking site says that the item is out for delivery, since yesterday apparently, but I've heard nothing. So I call again to see if there's anything I can do - my concern is that if they can't get to my property a few times, they'll send it back, I don't get my item (purchased with a time-limited and now-expired discount code) and I get charged an extra £9.90 for the trouble. So anyway, I call them and the girl tells me that since the couriers are self-employed, there's no requirement for them to have a mobile phone on them to be able to call me, but she can email a message. But since I can't spend all bloody week at home waiting for this package, I ask if I can get it delivered to a different address. They don't do work addresses, though, so I have to ask if I can use my parents' address. Which apparently might take another week, if they have to change couriers. And will take a few days anyway, since they need to go to the courier, come back to H&M and get authorisation.

I'd like to know what the hell they think people do with their time?! There doesn't seem to be a centre or anything for the courier that I can go to and collect the item, they don't have an option on the online store to be able to collect in my local H&M (which New Look have started doing recently - means I never have to worry about delivery plus it's free. 1-0 to New Look), and they won't deliver to work addresses. WTF?! Plus, they don't exactly give you a heads up when you're ordering to let you know about all these problems. I would've put my parents' address down in the first place had I realised that, because it's at least easy to get to their front door, plus they're often home during the day.

I have to say, the people I've spoken to have been very nice and polite and everything - it's certainly not their fault. It's the fault of whatever genius came up with this policy for deliveries. I've already been screwed over lately by having inflated charges from another online store of a well-known high street chain (*cough* Office, I'm looking at you) just because I live in Northern Ireland. I also don't really understand why couriering all this stuff is so necessary - can't they at least give you the option for Royal Mail? It works perfectly fine for 99% of the stuff I order from the likes of Amazon, so why can't it be an option for clothing retailers as well? Perhaps there is a genuine reason for that - I honestly don't know - but man, does it seem stupid to me.

And to be perfectly honest, I've encountered many such issues with H&M's website that just are not conducive to a pleasant shopping experience. I mean, I like their clothes, and I think they're usually fairly good value for money - I've got a significant proportion of my wardrobe from there and shudder to think how much money I've spent there.

Thing is, I like to browse online, so that I know exactly what I'm looking for when I go instore. Oftentimes I'm impatient and too lazy to go through everything instore, so it's easy to miss stuff that I might like. But it's easy to spend a bit of time browsing through a website during my lunchhour or EastEnders or whatever. Then I go in store, try stuff on, see if I like it and so on and buy it. I buy online when there's some kind of discount advantage, or if it's out of stock instore. But I just find so many things about H&M's website frustrating. You can't see the clothes all the easily at first glance because they seem to use catalogue shoots for the main photo, instead of the bloody garment itself. Sometimes you're looking at a picture, and you don't know which item of clothing on the model they're advertising to you.

And I'm forever finding things online that I can't find in store - even rather basic items. Like, there's a pair of jeans on their online store for £7.99 (full price) that I keep looking for instore but can't see. I don't know if that's an error on the part of the website or what, but it's infuriating. And I haaaaate when online stores don't let you filter by more than one thing at once - why can't I look at dresses and skirts at the same time, like I can on New Look's site, huh?!! And there's no option to sort by price, or to be able to see what's new in store.

They seem to have spent too much time trying to make it pretty and not enough trying to make it functionable. And if I get pissed off looking at a website, then I'm unlikely to make it instore to buy things. I also find it infuriating when they don't differentiate between an online price and an instore one. I see something I like on sale on the website, I think 'Great! I'll run into the store this evening, try on a couple of sizes to see what I need!' Except it's not on sale in the store, I'm lucky if they even have it in the store, and what I'd save on the online discount price, I'd lose on the delivery costs anyway. So they don't get any of my money. That doesn't seem like good retailing strategy, to me.

Now, maybe I'm just odd. Maybe everyone else is able to sit at home all day, all week and wait for parcels to arrive. Maybe other people don't care about cost, about being able to see the items they might want to buy, and can just order things willy nilly. But I'd have thought that in a recession, when just today I read on BBC News about how tough things are for the retail sector, that shops might want to make it a bit easier for me to GIVE THEM MY FUCKIING MONEY.

Anyway. That's it for now. God knows how long it'll be before I get the coat I ordered, but I can tell you how long it will be before I order online with H&M again - a very, very long fucking time indeed. Harumph.

Shoppers Anonymous

Weather's a funny old thing, isn't it? A week or so ago I finally let go of any hope of a return to vaguely summery weather, and resigned myself to autumn and winter clothes. So lots of boots, wool coats, knitwear, hats and scarves. Which I really rather like. I am a fan of autumn and winter, because I like getting all wrapped up in wintery clothes and I think they rather suit me. I can rock a Christmas jumper, I'll tell yous that and tell you no more.

And yet here I am bemoaning the weather outside. It's currently absolutely tipping down outside. I wouldn't mind so much, but I can't seem to find a water resistent pair of boots for love nor money, and had I known it was going to be like this today (bloody weather forecasts, never getting anything right...) I'd have brought wellies and a waterproof raincoat. The rather thin and flimsy trench coat I have with me isn't going to do too much against this rain.

I suppose it's the unpredicability I don't like. Which says a lot about me, I now realise. I like to plan and be prepared, and I don't do too well when I can't do so. Which also makes it rather ironic that I can be so lazy and unmotivated to do the things I need to to stop me getting into a panic. But then I suppose that's the fun of being a bit mental, eh?

But back to the weather. The other downside of the changing seasons is that it creates within me an almost primal desire to shop. I never used to be like this - I never used to bother all that much about clothes and buying things. But the last few years I've gotten really desperate for it. It's partly been because my weight has been up and down (mostly up, alas) and therefore half my clothes never fit me at any given time. But that is only part of it. I'm not really sure what the other part is, at all. I don't know if it's rampant consumerism, an increasing superficiality and concern for appearances rising to the surface of my personality, or if I just really, really like pretty things. The fact that this change coincided with my moving approximately a 5 minute walk from most of the shops in my city cannot be a mere coincidence. I tend to wander around the town for a bit when I just don't want to go home right after work, when I want to aimlessly amble around for a bit.

And then there's the online shopping. Oh boy, is that ever a curse and a blessing all at the same time. I rarely buy online, but I use it to browse (and to kill time when I'm a bit bored). Which means that I end up browsing every single damn item that most of the high street shops have. Y'know, just in case. God forbid I should miss out on buying a top I'll probably only wear twice before it either doesn't fit me anymore or I decide I don't like it all that much. In my defence, I don't shop anywhere expensive, I have an eye for bargains and sales, and I don't run up crazy debt to support my shopping habit. There's a lot more browsing and window shopping going on than the kind where actual money changes hands.

In summary, it appears that I am a girl. I'm not entirely sure when that happened....