I think I might also need to issue an disclaimer of some sort - if you don't like slagging off politicians and especially the right wing, this is not the blog for you.
So it's Question Time night! It's time! To face! The dickhead politicians and their dickhead policies who no one really voted for! Wooooo!!!
...wait, that's the wrong show, isn't it? Whoopsie...
But before we have Question Time, we have the BBC local London news (can't be arsed changing the region to NI, yes, I am a lazy bitch), so now I'm looking at this instead:
Ah, Boris. Boris and his big, silly head, next to his big, silly office building. I've spent so long staring at this picture that I have no idea what the story was about. Something about Boris Johnson and London, I think. I picked that much up at least.
Now the weather forecast: shit. That pretty much sums it up. Which brings me to another, completely unrelated point - why in the name of cheesus do UK fashion lines/stores not understand that they are selling clothes in the British Isles, where it basically rains all fucking summer long and drowns us all?! SELL SOME FUCKING COATS, YOU ASSHOLES. PREFERABLY ONES WITH HOODS. THAT ACTUALLY STAND SOME CHANCE OF KEEPING OUT THE RAIN. IT'S FUCKING IRELAND FFS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES.
(I'm doing my swearing-stretching - have to warm up before the main show, y'know)
Ah jaysus, This Week are doing a football-themed show this week. Holy mother of God, bless us and save us all.
Dimbleby's here, and we're off. No turny dancing thing from Dimbleby, unfortunately (I still say they should start and end the show with Dancing Dimbleby). There's a load of random asshole politicians on, Germaine Greer and someone else I've not heard of.
First question is about the UKIP local election results and does it mean Britain is going right wing. YES. COS ALL YOU FUCKING CUNTS READ THE DAILY MAIL, WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DO YOU EXPECT?!
David Davis (Tory bugger) says we can't sneer at UKIP or their voters anymore. Well, maybe you can't mate, but it's not stopping me. Fucking UKIP mentalists. Jerry Hayes doesn't seem to mind having a wee go at them either, who wants to expose them for who they are, and says voting for them is dangerous, but less cos they cray cray, and more cos they'll help Ed Miliband get in.
Ooh, there's a man in an ascot! That should be worth something on Question Time bingo, right?
He voted UKIP, too. Bloody hell.
Some Labour shadow minister is talking about Europe and trying to scare people about jobs being lost if we run away from Europe, and Labour responses of improving working conditions and blah blah BORING SOMEONE DO SOMETHING RIDICULOUS!
This Labour bloke apparently heard me, cos he just called Nigel Farage attractive.
Germaine Greer says that the country has been moving to the right for a long time, and it's all cos of Maggie Thatcher, and then she said something else sensible and great that I have forgotten. Oops. Anyway, gwan ye girl ye!
Some wee girl from the Lib Dems is saying a lot of things without managing to actually say anything. Which sums up the Lib Dems rightly, I think you'll agree. She says that they all need to be better at reaching people, which Farage has obviously been very good at. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT TO DO ANYTHING THAT FARAGE IS DOING, HE'S A FUCKING NUMPTY JESUS WEPT HAVE A WORD WITH YOURSELVES.
This is all really dull so far, when's someone gonna do a Jedward-style mash up?
Next question - should the Queen's Speech have mentioned an EU referendum? Labour bloke Tristram Hunt says an in/out referendum is a bad idea, that it wouldn't help people find jobs or businesses grow or companies invest if we start talking a load of balls about Europe (I may have paraphrased a little...). Our economy is embedded in Europe, then getting out of the EU will make all of us lose our jobs and we'll all die under bridges, basically. Probably with a baguette up our arses. Again, paraphrasing.
Dimbleby asks Hunt about Denis Healy (former Labour chancellor) saying Britain should get out of the EU, and Hunt says he's not read what Healy said. Dimbleby duly tells him off for not reading the newspapers. Hehehe, gotta love the Dimbleby.
The Tory bloke is boring me so much I literally cannot pay attention to a word he's saying, something about trust, I heard a bit about his step-father and now he's talking about people selling things here from Europe and basically trying to refute the Labour scare tactics of yer man Hunt there.
Then he starts his own scare tactics of how more and more power is transferring to Europe every single day. OH THE IRONING IS DELICIOUS.
Hayes is now gesticulating wildly and arguing with Davis. Arms akimbo.
God, the EU stuff is fucking dull. I perhaps did not pick the best week to start blogging QT. Should've waited till there was something juicier going on that flipping Europe. Ugh.
Greer, again, makes more sense than anyone else on the panel by pointing out lots of sensible things about the positivity of inclusion in Europe, including the ECHR. Yay Germaine again.
OMG you guys, QT is gonna be in Belfast in a couple of weeks! I imagine I will need to be heavily sedated before that hits the airwaves.
Now they're talking about making NHS staff act as border patrol with regard to immigrants. Germaine thinks it's ridiculous that people from central Europe coming to the UK to do work that no one else is willing to do should be penalised if they need healthcare, but Hayes tells her she's being silly, that it's to stop health tourism. Yeah, suuuuuure....
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| I need this on a shirt, btw. |
Lib Dem woman says it's all very clear and easy and simple, it's just to stop illegal immigration and clearly that's not a topic that has any grey areas whatsoever...
Davis is talking a lot and I don't know where he's coming down on this - he says that healthcare is not a pull factor that attracts immigrants to the country, and that denying anyone healthcare is ridiculous - so is he saying that he disagrees with the government, or that that's not what the government policy is when it very clearly is what the government fucking policy is.
Labour bloke says that it's already the law that hospitals pursue foreign citizens for expenses so this new policy is bullshit and is just trying to be more right wing cos of UKIP.
Audience man thinks we should have ID cards, Labour Hunt says we need a proper border force in the first place, and now the panel and audience are all shouting at each other.
Greer points out that there are a lot of British immigrants in other countries, that people move back and forward, and that you shouldn't be looking for a reason to not give someone medical attention who needs it.
New question now: should police withhold the identities of people who have been arrested until they've been charged. Hayes (barrister) thinks it shouldn't be secret, because apart from anything, it will come out anyway. But he thinks that people charged with sexual offences, particular rape and/or child-related sexual offences should be anonymous until after the trial because of the stigma. Dimbleby points out that more victims might come forward if they hear of the arrest of the person.
Greer thinks that the victim shouldn't have to be anonymous, because the victim shouldn't be ashamed and should show their face, but also thinks the legal category of rape is medieval and it should all be under the category of sexual assault, and basically it all needs overhauling.
Audience member disagrees with Hayes about it being easier for women to come forward and report rapes. She says that there were 95,000 rapes last year and only 900 odd prosecutions. Hayes then says you can only say that just the rapes that result in prosecution actually occur (sort of). Goes down very well with the women on the panel and in the audience, as you can imagine.
Lib Dem woman waffles a lot and says that the lack of anonymity helps more people come forward, which allows more offenders to be prosecuted, but victims should still have anonymity because they might be put off if they thought they'd be in the spotlight.
Dimbleby tries to get people to talk about anonymity of the accused but they still keep going back to the victim. Would it be cynical of me to suggest that they're doing that to have a chance to sound all nice and sympathetic to victims of horrendous crimes?...
Davis doesn't like the idea of secret trials if there is anonymity, but that it's totally whack, yo, that the cops and press turn up at the same time to arrest people. He thinks anonymity should remain in place until a charge is made. Labour bloke agrees with that, and thinks that post-Leveson the culture between the police and media is starting to change.
Hayes is starting to shout and gesticulate even more wildly about the criminal justice system being taken over by the likes of G4S and solicitors being disappeared off the high street and everyone is like...ok then, aaaaaanyway....
Greer says that rape cases don't get worked up because the burden of proof is too heavy, and there's a distortion of what rape and sexual assault is.
Next question: Should Cameron get rid of his Etonian cronies? This is in response to David Davis having a go at the Etonians earlier in the week, he says that you need a wider range of people and opinions to be able to understand the country and that's why he said it. Labour bloke says they should do what Lincoln did and bring in opponents to get a better range of opinion and ideas. Well, isn't that what happened with the coalition? Lib Dem lady asks the people in the audience and watching QT to get involved in politics and democracy - seriously love, you need to read a bit more of Twitter to see what kind of nutjobs (like me) actually watch the show...Hayes says doesn't matter where you're from so long as you're good at your job, which prompts Labour man to shout "but they aren't!" Heh, I did do a bit of a lol there.
And with that, I'm done. A fairly dull episode, fingers crossed for something to blow up next week (in a figurative sense, of course) to get a proper rant going.
